Hi guys! Do you remember me?
I’ve been in hibernation mode, I do apologise.
It all started when I started getting busy for Christmas, and Christmas fairs. Then I started some horrific medication. Then I moved house. Then I got dogs. Then plumbing problems. Then Buzzfeed found me. Then work got busy.
So. As you can see, I have had a lot on!
In order to survive all of this, I’ve had to do a bit of hibernation, and energy conservation.
So I wanted to chat about a couple of these things – the medication and the Buzzfeed fame!
As a lot of you might know from instagram, I suffer with adult acne quite badly. Not badly as in, my skin is horrendous, but psychologically I suffer from the acne badly. I’m all into body positivity and loving yourself as you are, and I’m making headway with my Rubenesque figure – but there doesn’t seem to be anyone championing spots as the latest trend. I can deal with one of these issues in solidarity but when they gang up on me, it’s just not fair. My self-esteem plummets and (don’t tell any one) but it makes me so low, depressed, and anxious that I’ve even taken a day or two off work because I thought I was too gross to be seen.
So I decided to go back on Roaccutane. For those of you who don’t know, it’s a highly toxic dose of vitamin A that withers away your liver but also shrinks your sebaceous glands, reducing acne. I said “go back” because I’ve done it before, and it was horrendous. The side effects are INSANE dryness, alcohol intolerance, nosebleeds and, controversially, low mood. The low mood thing is debated because scientists don’t know if it’s the acne, the side effects or the actual roaccutane that gives you the low mood, and not everyone experiences all of it, but I am. I also made sure that I was under the supervision of my therapist, and that the docs knew all about my anxiety & depression combo.
So I’ve had less energy to do much, and less will to do anything. I’ve had to cancel on lots, and plan a lot of me time in order to cope. It’s even harder for me personally because my dermatillomania is having a field day with this dryness! I even went to a hynotherapist to try and get that under control (more about that another day).
Anyway – 7 weeks and counting!
A totally amazing thing happened in the midst of all this madness which was this:
Buzzfeed featured my tiny self care kit!
It was so weird, one minute I was having my lunch on a normal Saturday afternoon and all of a sudden my cha-chings started going off on the etsy sellers app EVERY FIVE MINUTES FOR A WHOLE DAY! Luckily I had loads of stock prepared for Christmas, otherwise this would have been STRESSful!
So that’s me. I’ve been hiding, my instagram presence has been horrendous but thank you for not forgetting about me. I’m still here, I’m doing well, and I thank you for being here with me.