(Originally posted on instagram (because I was hiding from the mounting spam))

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An update! After the last post about my pregnancy and medlessness (and thank you for all your words of encouragement, support and advice!) despite feeling very positive, a few days later I had a couple of really bad days. I was consumed with paranoia about everything baby related and basically couldn't handle much else in life. I had some time off work to recover a bit and I needed it. I was worried about not having heard or felt anything from within for over 5 weeks, and I felt like I'd made a big deal about the whole thing and that the world would punish me for all the nice things that were happening by taking away the baby. Anxiety is very clever and very cruel at times. I moved my scan forward a few days and as you can see, there was still a baby in there. A very fat, but perfectly* healthy baby! (* So far). During that rough time I kept on without the meds but I had a doctors appointment due the day before the scan, so I kept a note of how I was feeling to discuss with her. Whether it was the lack of meds or whether I'd have had this panic anyway. We decided that since I was feeling much better after the bit of rest, and even before the scan that I could stay off and reevaluate in another couple of weeks. I'm feeling better day by day at the moment so so far, feeling ok about it. I'm almost certain I will start them again after birth as a precaution but we shall see. 💙 #pregnancy #pregnancyandmentalhealth #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #20weekscan #fatbaby #perinatalmentalhealth #pnd

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